Italian Espresso Groast - Italian Espresso Roast coffee

I'm going to be short and to the point here. If you ever see this product, avoid it at all costs. Even if your doctor tells you you're dying and all that can save you is a cup of this coffee, just go ahead and die. You'll be better off.

Mussolini was better to the Italian name.

Cheese Puffs n Stuff -- Cheese Puffs

Hey everybody, GC is back! Sorry for the delay, I had some technical difficulties. Dead phone which had all my sweet ALDI photos on it and dead hard drive which had my ability to login and write posts on it. But both have been rectified and I've got a TON of reviews to get to so without further adieu I bring you ---- Clancy's Cheese Puffs!

Pony

This was a review requested by one of our most dedicated readers - my daughter. Since I never got her that pony she wanted, I decided this was the next best thing.

Ole! Salsa!

It is important that when you host an Arbor Mist Wine Tasting Party (more on that later), you provide snacks. GC was nice enough to stop by ALDI and pick up some classy snacks to pair with the classy evening we were about to have. 

I'm going to go out on a limb and state that snack food is ALDI's sweet spot. In addition to several bottles of Arbor Mist, ALDI pita chips, crackers, hummus, and salsa were all served. First up for review is Grandessa Signature Mild Salsa.

(Please excuse the poor quality of the photos; they were taken quickly.  So much AM to get to)

Winking Owl Cab

Hello readers!  This is going to be an exuberant post because I have had 2.5 glasses of Winking Owl Cabernet Sauvignon! Hooray for drinking and blogging!

Proof of drinking while blogging

There are so many things to talk about when you talk about Winking Owl.  So many things. First of all, a confession. This isn't my first experience with Winking Owl. A week ago, GC and I had an ALDI Italian dinner that included ALDI spaghetti sauce, breadsticks, and this same bottle of WO Cabernet Sauvignon.

Mac and Chee Me -- Mac & Cheese Bites

How could you possibly make macaroni and cheese any better you ask? Why, cut it into triangles, bread it and deep fry it of course! Oh, AND do it for $.99!! ALDI, you magnificent bastard. That's right - Appetitos Mac & Cheese Bites are here!

Note: remove from box and cook before plating.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Guys, I love Valentine's Day. I LOVE it. This ALDI specialty item is everything I love about Valentine's Day. Let's explore:

 

1. Red and pink garishly thrown together.

2. Hearts!

3. Foods that are not normally shaped like a heart are shaped like a heart.

4. On February 15th, these are all 50 percent off!

Slop, Sloppy Joes

Alright, I think it's time we sit down and discuss Sloppy Joes (Joe's?). What is the deal with...wait, no. Sloppy Joes are boring. I'm not going to waste my time or more importantly your time, dear reader, with an entire paragraph about Sloppy Joes.

Similarly, Brookdale Sloppy Joe Sauce Original is boring. (Perhaps my gentleman caller would have been a better reviewer of this item since he is more of a meat and a sandwich expert than I am. But seeing as how the pictures were on my phone, I will soldier on.)

Chili Today, Sick Tomorrow. -- Hot Habanero Chili

Okay, so I love chili. And I've been known to eat Campbell's Soup Chunky Firehouse Chili when hard pressed. So when I saw Brookdale Hot Habanero Chili for a mere $1.19 I was kind of excited. Kind of. I was also kind of scared 'cause, well it's meat in a can. It turns out I was right to be afraid. Be very afraid.

Can of red.

(Not Dunkin') Donut Store Blend -- Coffee Donut Store Blend

After last night's Arbor Mist wine tasting party, I needed a cup of coffee and one of those pills I read about in Wired magazine that makes you forget bad memories. A quick call to my insurance company revealed that shame is not covered. Well, coffee then. Much to my daughter's chagrin, I'm not a coffee snob. I'll drink anything that resembles a hot cup of black coffee. Even that knock off stuff they give us at the office and it is horrible. So, with that caveat I give you...Beaumont Coffee Donut Store Blend!

Bag O Coffee

The package has the familiar Dunkin' Donuts corporate orange and purple color pallet so it's pretty clear what they're trying to knock off here. It says "100% Premium Arabica Pure Coffee" of medium intensity. They also claim that at Beaumont (a company that I'm highly suspect does not actually exist) they "live and breathe the whole experience, traveling the world, sourcing, roasting and blending the finest beans" a claim I somehow doubt is true given that they can sell 12 oz. of this for $4.49. But you know, whatever you want us to think ALDI. Maybe you really have slogged through the jungles of South America and come to find that arabica really is the best coffee the world has to offer. The dry grounds smell sort of like coffee, sort of like Island Fruit Chardonnay - but that may be residual Arbor Mist.

Goin' Ape -- Table Grapes

I've never purchased any produce from ALDI. To be honest, it kind of skeeges me out. All of it is prepackaged like the old produce they try to bundle and sell off cheap at the farmers market. This feeling wasn't helped by the moldy ball I saw in the first container of grapes I picked up. But I have an obligation to you our loyal readers, to tell you what's good at ALDI and so I give you....Goin' Ape Table Grapes.

 Sweet Ape Picture

The first thing you'll notice is the amazing ape eating grapes on the label. I don't know if apes really eat grapes in the wild - grapes seem like something that wouldn't grow in the jungle but if they do and apes ate them, I'm pretty certain it would look a lot like that picture. A smiling, wide eyed, friendly ape chowing down on a perfectly formed bunch of grapes. Man, I hope that's true.