A Valentine To ALDI

So this isn't a review of any ALDI food product, it's a review of my local ALDI store. I feel like I beat up on ALDI a lot and I want to say a few nice things about them, because they do do a lot of things pretty well. So, Ladies and Gentlemen I give you...ALDI, How Do I love Thee?

Be Mine?

Okay, we all know how tough I am on ALDI. But there's a lot to love too. What follows after the jump, a list of things I think you do right, ALDI.

What The Hell Is Arancini? - Arancini Bites

So I'm strolling out of ALDI the other night and the last thing you pass at our ALDI is the horizontal freezer with the special frozen foods. The stuff that was in the ad that week that you'll probably never see again. Although, the Mac and Cheese Bites have had some amazing staying power.  Anyway, I see this box with a word on it I've never seen before so today, Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you - Specially Selected Arancini Bites?

What the...?

First things first, there's no way this is a real thing. I'm Googling this stuff. Well I'll be damned - Arancini or arancine are fried rice balls coated with breadcrumbs, said to have originated in Sicily in the 10th century. Arancini are usually filled with meat sauce, tomato sauce, cheese and/or peas. Please accept my humble apologies, ALDI. 

Cooking With ALDI - Greek Stuffed Tomatoes

Hey, this new segment has made it to a second post. Queue the celebratory fireworks! Yay!!! So onto this weeks ALDI recipe. I tried to find something easy with just a few ingredients 'cause even after last time's amazing bean dip I'm still skeptical that this is going to work out. With that in mind, this week's adventure in ALDI cooking is Greek Stuffed Tomatoes!

 The Goods

As a reminder, we got some rules.

1. Use the specific ALDI products listed in the recipe whenever available.
2. If the product in the recipe is not available, substitute with a suitable ALDI product.
3. If rules 1 and 2 can not be followed, purchase item from another grocer OR if the item is deemed not integral to the recipe, leave out altogether.

Beans, Beans, Good For Your Heart - Chocolate Covered Coffee Beans

I love a good cup of coffee in morning. But, like you my loyal readers, I don't have time to be grinding and blending and brewing and stopping at McDonalds for a cup. Luckily, ALDI has taken care of that by making coffee edible! Ladies and Gentlemen, today I give you Specially Selected Dark Chocolate Covered Espresso Roasted Coffee Beans!

Suck It, Starbucks!

Man, the Specially Selected products have been hitting it out of the ballpark lately. I almost think they're just slapping a "Specially Selected" label on Trader Joe's products and reselling them. So let's see how this baby did.

Buy Me Some Peanuts... Roasted Peanuts

Being from Georgia, there's two things I like - Jimmy Carter and peanuts. I was going to bring you Jimmy Carter but my Secret Service friend advised me against it. So in the name of not getting arrested I bring you...

Both!

Awwww, not really, today I bring you...Southern Grove Salted and Roasted Jumbo Peanuts!

Just Peanuts, Sorry.

So guess what country produces the most peanuts in the world. China! Like 13 million metric tons of the things. That's a LOT of Kung Pao Chicken. The good ole U.S. of A. is a distant third with 2 million metric tons and from what I can tell from my 30 second search on the internet, Georgia is carrying the water for the rest of the country producing about half of that. What's that? You want to just jump into the review? You don't think you need to learn anything? Well take a look at what I found on the bag - apparently some of us are morons.

 How can there be peanuts in peanuts?

 

 

Sweet! - Bread and Butter Pickles

Pickling began 4000 years ago using cucumbers and I'm sure it was a laborious process back then. But, fast forward to 2013 and eating pickles is as easy as walking into ALDI and slapping down $1.29. So today, my dear readers, warm up your flux capacitors because I take you Back To The Future with Great Gherkins Mildly Sweet Bread and Butter Chips!

They're GREAT! It says so.

I've rediscovered pickled foods and I'm pretty happy about it. There's seems to be an upswing in local restaurants pickling stuff. If you're a loyal reader or more likely, a friend or relative I've strong armed into reading this blog, you probably know we live in Atlanta. Downtown, in the city limits, Atlanta. And downtown has had an explosion of great restaurants lately, all trying to be hip and jump on the latest thing which I think is pickling, among other things. I mean, for God's sake, there's five cupcake shops within two miles of my house. Soooooo, two years ago. But there's great stuff too, which Anthony Bourdain proved in a recent episode of The Layover. Anyway, local restaurants have taken up pickling everything in sight and it's been pretty delicious. I'm not sure what they do to that okra at West Egg, but it is delicious! And if you haven't been to West Egg, you should go.

Okay now that I'm done shamelessly promoting eating in Atlanta, on with the review.

Spreadable, Not Edible - Spreadable Cheddar & Horseradish Cheese

Processed cheese is a wonder of human ingenuity. Is there anything better than spray cheese? Kraft American Slices? Cheese balls? Velveeta? No, even the invention of the wheel pales in comparison to being able to spread, melt or wrangle cheese onto or into anything you please. So of course when I saw spreadable cheese at ALDI I was delighted. Ladies and gentlemen, today I give you - Specially Selected Gourmet Spreadable Cheese Cheddar & Horseradish.

Robust!

In an earlier review, the Lady enjoyed the Garlic and Herb variety of this product. I have high hopes for Cheddar and Horseradish so let's get right to it. 

 

Clancy's Holiday Spectacular -- Chocolate Covered Pretzels

Here's one of the things I like about ALDI. They stock up for every single holiday imaginable and then, like a week after, they slash the already cheap prices. So since it was two weeks after Christmas, you know it was with a pretty huge amount of joy in my heart that I purchased today's item. Don't put away that garland just yet, it's time for Clancy's Pretzels - Milk Chocolate Caramel with White Chocolate Drizzle.

Clancy Got Festive!

Our ALDI has a section with the weekly oddities like walkers, gas powered generators, elliptical machines, etc. and then one aisle over it has the Island of Misfit Items. Things that aren't normally stocked and didn't sell in the week or two after they were in the weekly flyer end up shipwrecked here. This is where the sweet spot is for super cheap stuff and that's exactly where I found these. To be honest, I have no idea how much these were. They were the only box I saw and I didn't see a price tag - sidebar - doesn't ALDI have the best price labels? Everything (almost) is always sitting underneath a bright yellow price card that's hung above it - nice job ALDI!

Cooking With ALDI - Cheesy Pinto Bean Dip

Did you know there's a whole section of ALDI's website filled with recipes? Yeah I know, endless possibilities! So guess what? Welcome to a new blog segment - Cooking With ALDI - where we take a recipe from the ALDI website and make it using ALDI products...or as many ALDI products as we can find. Let's face it, one of the reasons we love ALDI is product turn over, but that's going to make following a recipe an adventure. So on with the first adventure - Cheesy Pinto Bean Dip.

 Let's get this party started!

There's got to be some rules, right?

1. Use the specific ALDI products listed in the recipe whenever available.
2. If the product in the recipe is not available, substitute with a suitable ALDI product.
3. If rules 1 and 2 can not be followed, purchase item from another grocer OR if the item is deemed not integral to the recipe, leave out altogether.

That's it, let's see how we did.
 
I couldn't find Benita Shredded Quesadilla Cheese which is denoted in the recipe as a specialty item that may not be available. Correct! I also didn't find Benita Diced Green Chiles or green onions. I substituted Happy Farms Pepper Jack for the cheese, Casa Mamita Tomatoes and Green Chiles (a Rotel knock-off) for the chiles and left out the green onions altogether. Also, I didn't find Stonemill Essentials Taco Seasoning so I used Casa Mamita Taco Seasoning in it's place, but it's 1 oz instead of the 1.25 oz called for in the recipe. I don't think it made a difference.

O Canada! -- Maple Leaf Cream Cookies

The list of Canadian things that are amazing is relatively lengthy. There's universal healthcare, hockey, hard rock power trios, Tim Horton's and Dudley Do-Right, just to name a few. Which reminds me - if you live in or travel to Chicago, stop by Do-Rite Donuts - although they aren't Canadian, they're amazing too. Anyway, another amazing thing is maple syrup. It's delicious. I mean, where would the humble pancake be without it? This week I saw maple cookies at the local ALDI and decided to give them a try. Ladies and Gentlemen, hang on to your tuques, I give you - Benton's Best Maple Leaf Cream Cookies!

*Dipping Syrup Not Included

Simply Nature Week Finale - Uncured Pepperoni Thin & Crispy Pizza

I love pizza and not being able to find that Simply Nature pepperoni pizza earlier this week was nagging at my soul. When I went back yesterday to restock the Lady's supply of banana bars, I rooted around a little and found it! So doctor's warnings be damned, today I give you - Simply Nature Uncured Pepperoni Thin & Crispy Pizza!

Busted!

I'm not sure why I had such trouble finding this thing. It was sitting in the frozen section right up front along with it's cousin, Simply Nature Cheese Thin & Crispy Pizza. Both varieties are $3.49 which is only $1.50 less than a Little Caesars Hot and Ready. Hey, can we take a minute to discuss a non-ALDI food topic? Isn't it amazing that we live in a day and age when you can simply walk into a pizza joint and walk out with a pizza for 5 bucks? I mean it's no Antico (BTW -if you haven't been to Antico, you should go right now. This post will be here when you get back.) but it's not $20 either. I kind of feel bad for the poor LC franchisee when I buy one. I mean, how much could they possibly be making on a $5 large pizza? Oh, well here's the answer. That doesn't seem too bad. P.S. I love you internet.

Simply Nature Week - Steel Cut Oatmeal

Hey there, I missed you all. Hope you had a wonderful holiday season. I haven't posted anything in a long, long time. Kudos to the Lady for keeping this thing rolling while I recovered from the Piepocalypse. New Years resolution: post more. Anyway, keeping with this weeks theme, I needed to pick a Simply Nature product. I was going to try the uncured pepperoni pizza but luckily for my cholesterol levels, I couldn't find it in our local ALDI and since the Lady was out in the car waiting, I grabbed Steel Cut Oatmeal in a panic. Eh, I needed something to take to work for breakfast and I do like steel cut oatmeal so in my inaugural 2013 post I give you...Simply Nature Steel Cut Oatmeal!

Is it Nature? Simply.

First a disclaimer - as we probably all know, ALDI and Trader Joe's are somehow related. I think the same multinational conglomerate owns them. I've tried the same product from Trader Joe's and I didn't like it. It was lacking the thing I like most about steel cut oats - the kind of hard toothie snap you get when you bite into a spoonful. In short, it was like rolled oats - mushy. So to begin with, I was a little bit skeptical but this is what happens when you panic purchase.

Piepocalypse Now! - The Final Reckoning -- Cherry Pie

And so we come to the end of the Piepocalypse and I've saved the worst for last. Readers I give you the worst pie I have ever eaten...L'Oven Fresh Cherry Pie.

Just Don't!

It's products like these that make me wonder if anyone at ALDI actually eats ALDI food. I don't think I have the language skills to explain just how horrible this pie was. But I'll try.

Piepocalypse Now! - Day Four -- Dutch Apple Pie

When we last convened, we had just finished a not terrible pecan pie. I just heard the oven timer go off so it must time for the warm pies, starting with L'Oven Fresh Dutch Apple Pie.

What country is Dutch anyway? Iceland?

With both of the fruit pies, I cooked the pie at 350 for 20 minutes so it was warm but not overly hot and tented it with some ALDI foil so as not to burn the crust. It worked out pretty well but there are no heating instructions so I was just winging it. I'm not sure what ALDI is thinking - maybe heat causes some horrible reaction in ALDI pies but none of the boxes had any reheating instructions. Note to ALDI: people enjoy warm pie.

Piepocalypse Now! - Day Three -- Pecan Pie

When last I left you I had just finished a disappointing pie #1 - Sweet Potato. On to day three - L'Oven Fresh Pecan Pie.

 How do I love thee?

Of all the things I have claimed to love on this blog, this one is closest to being true love. I love pecan pie. It is delicious. Toasted pecans on top of a dark rich sweet Karo syrup flavored filling in a flaky Crisco shortening crust. It's pretty close to the perfect dessert. I think we all know this review is headed for a fall.

Piepocalypse Now! - Day Two -- Sweet Potato Pie

When I left you last time, I had just purchased 4 L'Oven Fresh pies for tasting. Now the moment you've all been waiting 24 hours for - Let the pie eating begin!

First up, L'Oven Fresh Sweet Potato Pie.

3.14159265359

Sweet potato pie is one of my very favorite pies. Do they eat this anywhere else but down here in the South? It's very similar to pumpkin pie - I think they use the same spices - but it has a distinct sweet potato flavor. 

Do You Know The Muffin (Gentle)Man (Caller)? -- Cranberry Orange Premium Muffin Mix

I guess like all of us I tend to buy things that I know I like and I like orange-anything muffins. So I was pretty excited to see these cranberry-orange muffins at ALDI one day. Into my basket and now on to my blog. Ladies and Gentlemen, today I bring you --- Baker's Corner Cranberry Orange Premium Muffin & Quick Bread Mix!

 Cran-tastic!

Okay first things first, ALDI. Enough with the crazy long titles. Enough. I'm already tired of typing it. From now on in this review it will be referred to as BCCOPM&QBM. No, no, that's too long too. It's just going to be The Muffins.
 

Pumpkin Blitz: Pumpkin Spice Bark

It's pumpkin week at ALDI and that means all manner of items that should not be mixed with nutmeg and cinnamon are mixed with nutmeg and cinnamon. But white chocolate seems like an easy winner in the nutmeg and cinnamon sweepstakes. And so I give you Specially Selected Pumpkin Spice Bark.

Straight off the Pumpkin Tree

Tin Foil Hat -- Aluminum Foil

Staples, it's hard to screw up paper towels, napkins, sandwich bags, etc. I tend to buy all mine at ALDI and I've had pretty good luck. Today I give you....Boulder Aluminum Foil.

Tea Party endorsed Anti-Government Mind Reading Fabric.

So tin foil... Man, I'm running out of things to say about the really boring products I've been reviewing. This foil is like other foils - bright on one side, dull on the other, crumples well, has a sweet serving suggestion on the box and it's about the same thickness as name brand aluminum foil. Or fole, as we say down here in the South. 

Free Dog!!!

Not Purchased At ALDI

So I found this dog wandering around my neighborhood and I'm trying to find it a home but I need to post some pics somewhere and then it dawned on me - I can work two angles today - one, a solid review and two, trying to find a home for this dog. So today I give you a win/win - Shep Premium Cuts With Beef in Sauce dog food and a free to a good home pup!

Looks Better Than ALDI Chili